14.03.13

Let me take a minute to jot down some differences...
 

Years are determined by the emperor's reign. We are in Heisei 14.  It is estimated that the “Love hoteru” (luxurious but shadily discreet hotels designed primarily for sex) is where over 40% of Japan’s current population was conceived. Exit signs are in green. I’ve had ‘Italian’ seafood pasta (Japanified) whose main ingredients were seaweed and plankton.  The ubiquitous straw mats, tatami.  Basic Japanese toilets have two levels of flushing (low and high), and the deluxe models have side panel controls, heated seats, background music to mask embarrassing noises, and several bidet options with variable temperature and pressure options.  There are large, disk-like mirrors on every tight intersection to avoid blind spots.  Some popular Japan/Western fusions are the infamous strawberry whipped cream sandwiches, yakisoba (like a fancy version of Mr. Noodle) on a kaiser, pancakes with bean paste, and (my favourite) the ice cream sundae topped with corn flakes.  In Tokyo, main intersection crosswalks also run diagonally.  One can take a subway around the whole damn country.  Convenient stores “combini” like Lawson’s, Family Mart and 7-11 sell complete, relatively wholesome meals 24/7.  Grocery stores have entire aisles dedicated to different varieties of instant noodles.  Taxi doors open and close automatically. Peak rush hour is at around 6:30 AM, and 10 PM. In Japan, the term “food fight” refers to an eating competition --  a near national sport that is taken extremely seriously.   Everyone from 6 to 60 rides a bike or moped… sometimes as many as 4 people per bike.  One can buy cigarettes, cold drinks, hot drinks, alcoholic drinks, hot soups, miscellaneous foods, popsicles, ice cream, batteries, film, pornography, and even used women's underwear (for the truly perverted) from the Japanese vending machine.  People wear hospital masks when sick so as not to spread germs… another theory is that it increases moisture in the throat and aids in healing.  Eating eel is considered better than viagara. There is a specially designed drink that is made to aid the Japanese business man to function properly when hung over.  From what I’ve been able to gather its a concoction of alcohol, caffeine, sugar, fiber and liquid nicotine.  Squat toilets “benjo”.  Fold up beds “futon”.  Sliding doors.  Ketchup is terribly difficult to come across in most hamburger joints… even Mc Dees gives only a strange type of tomato paste if asked.  In boxes of cookies each cookie is individually wrapped. Certificates and ceremonies are so big that I’ve received a graduation ceremony with complete catering and guys in full suits, speeches, and parchment for a one week Japanese language course.  It is apparently very hard to get into university in Japan but apparently once accepted it is as difficult to fail!  Cars with global positioning devices are a norm.  There is a desired polite way to put away your shoes (pointing towards the exit). The average loaf of bread sold in Japan has roughly 6 slices.  Strange nonsensical English can be found on everything from notebooks that say "I'm a crocodile Jr. I love to go for a walk on Mama's back" to old ladies wearing T's that say "Kiss my patch".   Eggs come in packs of ten and are individually dated with an expiry date sticker.  All cell phones, 'keitai', have internet access.  Most automated machines like ATMs and metro ticket machines have various animations of customer service personnel in full uniform bowing and saying "domo arigato gozaimashita" after your transaction is complete.  Girls never play baseball.  People point to their nose rather than their chest when referring to themselves.  Pachinko - the japanese version of slot machines using metal ball bearings instead of coins.  High school students are assigned specific colours of indoor slippers to designate what year they are in.  In my school red is for first years, green is for second years, and blue is for third years.  Students are responsible for cleaning their school every semester.  No central heating, brrrrrr.  Elementary school kids wear yellow rain hats everyday (even sunny ones) as required national uniform.  Christmas is widely known as a national holiday for romance and love.  Most popular japanese Christmas traditions are eating chocolate cake (what the Japanese call 'Christmas Cake') and listening to Wham's 'Last Christmas'.  'Moon River' chimes on  JR railway stations in Tokyo to let passengers know that a train is coming.  On most major intersections there are devices that let pedestrians know how long they have to wait before they can cross. Mountains are addressed with the title of 'San'.  For example Mt. Fuji is called Fuji-san, literally translating to Mr. Fuji.  Customer service is always polite and efficient.  Fruit is considered a dessert.  Spaghetti sauce is sold in bags.  At around dusk, chimes go off across the country in a tune that roughly translates to "Time for all the toys to go to sleep."

...bottom line.  When in Japan, if instincts say 'jump right', it's probably best to duck left.
 

r
 

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